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The Tell-Tale Toy/Transcript
opens up showing the Fanlair, then Fanboy and Chum Chum peek through the mail slots in the door and look aroung, giggling and groaning Fanboy: groaning When is the postman gonna get here? close the mail slots Doesn't he know we want to play junk mail-lympics? mail falls through the mail slots into boxes next to F&C. Fanboy gasps, then they smile Fanboy and Chum Chum: singing Junk mail! slap hands Fanboy: Yes. Let the games begin! a gun shot with his hand Fanboy: a shampoo bottle in CC's face Trial size dandruff shampoo. it Chum Chum: Ooh. FB back with a coupon A coupon for free ranch dressing. Fanboy: a tube of toothpaste A sample size tube of sleeper hold denture cream. Guaranteed to hold through all night-time sneezing. his teeth out to Chum Chum Chum Chum: Eek. teeth are on his nose Fanboy: Okay, Chum Chum. his teeth back Last ups. Chum Chum: a red package out of a box I got a cardboard box. Fanboy: toothpaste on his teeth I believe victory is mine. his teeth back Chum Chum: A cardboard box from the...Toyco toy company. the pause, he turns the box around to show a white ninja action figure Fanboy: Huh?! teeth pop out again Ah. Chum Chum: It's finally here! Fanboy: An Ultra-Ninja figure with hi-ya! Action hands? Let me see it! let me see it! Chum Chum: Uh, sure. See? up the box briefly Fanboy: No, no, no, no. I mean "see it", you know, with my hands? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Chum Chum: I don't know, Fanboy. Whenever you touch my toys, you always break them. Fanboy: Why are you still talking? All I hear is, "Blardy-blar-blar-blar, can you have Fanboy touch this?". Chum Chum: the box No! You're gonna break it! Fanboy: gasp How dare you, sir. Where would you get such a cockamamie idea? Chum Chum: Well... to many years ago Baby Chum Chum: You broke-ted my teddy bear! Baby Fanboy: on a teddy's arm, spits it out Sorry. Baby Chum Chum: plate broken into half You broke my Man-Arctica plate! Baby Fanboy: a slingshot behind his back Sorry. Baby Chum Chum: My tiny toy turtle! Baby Fanboy: blow torching the turtle Sorry. of flashback Fanboy: Wow, you're right, I do break all of your stuff! I'm sorry, Chum Chum, I feel awful. Chum Chum: It's okay, Fanboy. It's just who you are, and I accept that about you. Fanboy: Ooh! So I can touch it? Chum Chum: Absolutely not. Fanboy: dejected Well, I guess I can see that. I'd probably feel the same way. Okay, Chum Chum, I promise. I will not touch it! Chum Chum: Really? Fanboy: Fanboy-Chum Chum Super Shake of Trust! hold hands Fanboy and Chum Chum: singing Super Shake of Trust! lands on the ground, only to hear a cracking sound below him Fanboy: Hmm? down to see Chum Chum's arm is broken and stretched Sorry. Chum Chum: It's okay, his hand I accept that about you. Fanboy: Thanks, buddy. Chum Chum: What are friends for? Well, I think I'm gonna run down to the hospital and get my arm bone set. They gave me this card that says the tenth cast is free. See ya later, Fanboy! pause Could you get the door? opens the door, then closes it, only to slam Chum Chum's hand in the door Chum Chum: Uh, little help? Fanboy: Ooh. Sorry, buddy! opens the door and closes it after Chum Chum lets his arm through. Just one second later, he glances toward the Ultra-Ninja in the box. He opens the door back up Fanboy: Chum Chum! You forgot your Ultra-Ninja! I'll bring it to you. Ooh, wait, can't touch it. Uhh... Chum Chum Don't worry! It'll be safe here with me! door sees the ninja again. His perspective, camera zooms in on the Ultra-Ninja who raises an eyebrow. Back on Fanboy. He rubs his eyes, then inches toward the Ultra-Ninja but quickly stops Fanboy: Control yourself, Fanboy, you owe it to Chum Chum, just...don't look at it. turns his head and his body turns with it, but his eyes turn to the back No! turns back around Oh, look at it. Just beggin' to be touched. toward the Ultra-Ninja and tries to draw his hand back Must resist! Must - get - away! back Fanboy: gasp I'm weak. I'm weak, I admit it. Besides, Chum Chum wouldn't care if I grazed it a little. I mean, all he said is "Don't touch it". He didn't say "Don't touch it, don't touch it". Two totally different things, am I right? Yes, you are. thank you. that moment, Fanboy's head turns around to look at the Ultra-Ninja as he starts to wimper. Cut to an extreme close up of Fanboy's eyes. For a moment they're open, then Fanboy closes them to resist, but they slowly open back up again. On the Ultra-Ninja, it fires a green laser vision which drags Fanboy toward it. Fanboy starts to become entranced, but he instantly closes his eyes again to block it Fanboy: What! What am I doing?! Chum Chum's my best friend! We even did the Super Shake of Trust, the world's most trusted super shake! And I shall not, nay, I will not betray my Chum Chum! turns around. After a pause, some box rustle noises are heard Fanboy: Huh? Uhh... around and gasps empty box that the Ultra-Ninja was in falls down after a beat. Fanboy looks down to see he's holding the Ultra-Ninja as horrible music is heard Fanboy: Ninja! screams No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Back you go into your box. entranced by it Ooh, but feel that fresh, factory plastic. Oh, there's still some sweat from the shop. And look at that high-gloss finish! shines, leaving Fanboy a little smoky And let's not forget the super awesome, aviminitated but never duplicated, Hi-ya! Action hand! the button on the ninja's back, but nothing happens Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Hi-ya! continues to press the button, but nothing happens, still Hey. Where's the "hi-ya" action? presses the button Wait a minute, this must be a test - to teach me an important lesson. a beat, he puts the ninja on the floor ALWAYS PRESS HARDER! repeatedly presses the button, this time harder, shouting. But the ninja doesn't do anything, it just breaks into pieces. Fanboy stares, then presses the button one more time. His worry is now replaced with shock Fanboy: screams AHH! I broke it! Chum chum's gonna be so disappointed in me. moans, but his conscience self comes out and smacks him Oh, thanks, I needed that. Fanboy returns to normal Fanboy's head Maybe it's not too late. I'll do CPR. on the broken ninja Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Eh, eh, eh, eh. Eh, ah, ah, ah! There, that should save you. just broke it more. His conscience self pops out Fanboy/Conscience Fanboy: AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? faints, then looks at the broken ninja. He then constantly repeats this phrase over and over Fanboy: AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? stare AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? stare the outside of the Fanlair AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? goes to night stare AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? stare goes back to day AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? to the interior stare AHH! WHAT HAVE I - wait. There's no need for panic! I can rebuild him! I have the technology! Fanboy is dressed as a nurse and is working hard. He has a seagull as his assistant. The seagull gives him everything he asks for Fanboy: Scalpel. Tweezers. Hot glue gun. Screwdriver. the point I said phillips head! the seagull away, then works hard. Soon, the ninja is fixed It's perfect! feather falls on his nose just as the seagull returns. He starts to sneeze, but the seagull stops him Ah, thank you. seagull sneezes, sending the ninja flying Fanboy: AHH! the broken ninja and gasps Oh, boy. oh, boy. What am I gonna do? I can't let Chum Chum know I broke another one of his toys! Oh, how do I get myself into these things? How do I get myself out of this thing? gasp I'll hide the evidence. Yes. But where? Where? Thinking Come on, Fanboy, use your head. Use your head. Normal Wait a minute, who said that? Head flap: I did. Fanboy: the broken ninja in his head Oh, thanks, Slappy. snickering There. down on the couch with his eyes closed Fanboy, you are a genius. scene changes to Fanboy's dream sequence. Fanboy is sleeping when the room rumbles, waking him up Chum Chum: camera FANBOY!!! room rumbles again Chum Chum: camera FANBOY!!! room rumbles yet again Fanboy: Whoa! What's going on? roof opens. An angry Chum Chum, at giant size peeks through Fanboy: Chum Chum? Chum Chum growls and reaches his hand out to run away Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! grabbed and is pulled toward the giant Chum Chum's face. He looks very angry Uh, hey buddy. Chum Chum: WHO BROKE MY TOY?!?????!? coughs the broken Ultra-Ninja parts out of his mouth. The giant Chum Chum stares, then disappears, leaving Fanboy to fall back down into the Fanlair Fanboy: Whoa! of dream Fanboy: Boy, that toy did not agree with me. at the rug, giggles, then puts the broken ninja under it, leaving a big lump under the rug. He sits on it Perfect. Now I just have to think of what I'm gonna tell Chum Chum. Chum Chum: camera Tell me what? is startled. His perspective, Chum Chum has returned. He has a big smile and his arm is the way it was before. Fanboy screams Fanboy: I mean, tell you that... him you're the best pal in the world, buddy old pal. Chum Chum: Aww, thanks. the rug lump Hey, is our rug lumpier than usual? Fanboy: Nope, don't think so. Hey, best friend of mine, around the Fanlair with Chum Chum in tow Why don't we take the long way around and spend some time together, you know, get some exercise. Get the old ticker tocking. Mmm, smell that fresh recirculated air! breathing Chum Chum: Fanboy, are you okay? Fanboy: Sure I am. Why wouldn't I be? down the slide I never felt better in all my-- the rug lump and screams'' '' Chum Chum: Fanboy, you seem awfully screamy today. Is there something you're not telling me? Fanboy: I...um...uh... perspective. The spirit of Chum Chum's Ultra-Ninja appears behind Chum Chum Ultra-Ninja Spirit: You must tell your friend the truth! Fanboy: pause I can't. It'll destroy our friendship. Ultra-Ninja Spirit: Anything broken can be fixed - with the truth. spirit of Chum Chum's Man-Arctica plate appears Plate Spirit: A little glue never hurt either, hint, hint. Fanboy: But--but I broke the Super Shake of Trust! spirit of Chum Chum's teddy bear appears Bear Spirit: At least you have arms to do the Secret Handshake of Trust. close up of Fanboy, who looks toward Chum Chum. Due to his crazy mind, he sees Chum Chum's face disorented in his perspective, a la Picasso Chum Chum: Fanboy? Are you okay? spirits begin to swirl around Fanboy, who starts to feel insane All Spirits: Tell Him! Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! Bear Spirit: Or we'll haunt your dreams forever. giggles spirits disappear and Fanboy snaps Fanboy: ALL RIGHT! ''ALL RIGHT!'' Chum Chum I'm so sorry, Chum Chum, I didn't listen! I didn't honor the Super Shake of trust! I'm bad! Bad, I tell you! sob I'm unclean! Chum Chum: Fanboy, what are you talking about? Fanboy: I...BROKE YOUR ULTRA-NINJA!!! sobs Do with me what you will. Chum Chum: My...Ultra-Ninja? Fanboy: sniff Uh-huh. Chum Chum: Is the box okay? Fanboy: sniff What? Chum Chum: The box, man! Where's the box?! Fanboy: Uh, it's over there. Chum Chum out of the scene and flops to the ground Chum Chum: Oh, it's okay. Thank goodness. Fanboy: Uh, didn't you hear me, Chum Chum? I broke your Ultra-Ninja. Chum Chum: Oh, I was gonna give that to you. I only wanted the box. the box on his head, but it's facing backwards Look at me! I'm a tugboat captain! Toot toot! Chumma-chumma, chumma-chumma, chumma-chumma... off Fanboy: You mean you didn't -- so I didn't? There's no need to -- grunts I taste pennies. himself, then faints Chum Chum: Fanboy? Oh, Fanboy? pause Chumma-chumma, chumma-chumma, chumma-chumma, wah wah! near the roof, another dream starts. Giant Chum Chum and the spirits of his toys are watching what happened. Conscience Fanboy appears Conscience Fanboy: That boy sure is easy to please. on the Ultra-Ninja Spirit, knocking it off Well, am I right? Ultra-Ninja Spirit: Oh, dear! Chum Chum: angry Again? Conscience Fanboy: Old habits? laugh out, the episode is over. Category:Transcripts